This article is written with a humor but conveying serious message as to how one should conduct himself/herself in a working environment of an organization.
Words you are sure to hear if you think you do not need your colleagues for anything. Here are some actions that will ensure that you get your marching orders soon!
Talk loudly on your cell phone
Your co-workers do not want to listen to your cell phone conversations. They are not as entertaining to anyone as they are to you. More importantly, they do not want to hear you talk on your phone while you are in the bathroom it makes them uncomfortable.
Take credit for your co-workersâ€™ efforts
When your boss congratulates you on a job well done, do not mention that you sought help. Why does he need to know anyway? Better to look like you did it all on your own. And when you need some help on the next project, where do you think your co-workers will be? Not in your team.
Come to work sick
If you have a cold or a stomach virus, spread it around. Your co-workers will thank you. On second thoughts, no they will not.
Share everything with your co-workers
Your co-workers are a curious lot so it is in their best interests if you tell them everything about your personal life. Your motto should be â€œtoo much information is never enoughâ€?
Talk about religion and politics
Ah, religion and politics â€¦.. two topics on which everyone is in total agreement. Well, not exactly. Your co-workers may be very sensitive to these topics, so if you want to offend them in a hurry, make sure they know why your beliefs are the right ones.
Tell your colleagues dirty jokes
Everyone appreciates a good joke, right? That may be true, but while most people appreciate a good joke, many are put off by dirty jokes. Itâ€™s not your problem, so keep telling those jokes, but donâ€™t be surprised if you find yourself accused of sexual harassment one day.
Spam your co-workers
Forward tons of e-mail to all your co-workers. The content doesnâ€™t matter. Send it all-chain letters, jokes, and petitions. They will be thinking of you as they keep hitting that delete button.
Donâ€™t carry your own weight
If you donâ€™t do your fair share of work, you eat into your co-workersâ€™ reserve and time, for they end up making amends to what you have done. They will be so exhausted from doing all the work; they wonâ€™t be able to thank you.
Talk down to your co-workers
A condescending attitude will not make you appear stronger. If you have been badmouthing or have been unruly and cold, remember that you are giving your co-workers all the reason to resent you and look forward your last day.
Tips to make your co-workers your enemiesâ€¦
Â· Indulge in Gossip
Â· Talk more than you listen.
Â· Show Disrespect
Â· Do not show sympathy.
Â· Forget Names and Birthdays
Â· Be a Recluse
Â· Donâ€™t believe in team spirit.
Â· Donâ€™t do your share of work.
Though this article is written in a lighter vein the implications we have clarified very much in the opening paragraph. In short if an employee do not follow the above actions he or she will be â€œnot firedâ€? and considered as a valuable team member by co-workers.