Matching and Mismatching Modes

Matching or mismatching modes are extremely important because they can play out in so many ways, even in nutrition. Extreme matchers can often end up eating that’s for them, because they want food that is always the same. They wouldn’t want an apple or a plum. There’s too much variety in ripeness, texture, tastes, shelf time, and other assorted variables. Instead they might eat of junk food because it doesn’t change. It might be lousy food, but it warms a matcher’s unvarying soul.

If you have a job that requires the same repetitive work, year after year, would you want to hire a difference person? Of course not and you want to hire a same person he would be very happy in such a job for as long as you needed there. If, however, you have a job that requires a great deal of flexibility or constant change, would you want to hire a sameness person in that position? Obviously not. These distinctions can be very useful in discovering what kind of jobs people would be most at for the longest period of time.

Consider the case of a football field kicker. A few years back, he began the season with great success, kicking with remarkable accuracy. But since he was mis-matcher, he soon felt obligated to begin varying his routine, and he went into a slump. He was persuaded to concentrate on the different kinds of fans behind the goal post in each different stadium. By focusing on how different they were, he could mismatch to his heart’s content on something trivial still performing his best in the same way in what really mattered.

Would you use the same persuasion techniques on a matcher and a mis-matcher? Would you want them in the same job? Would you treat two kids with different matching strategies in the same way? Of courses not. This is not to say that strategies are immutable. People are not Pavlovian dogs. They can modify strategies to some extent, but if someone talks to them in their own language about how to do that. It takes tremendous effort and patience to turn a lifelong mis-matcher into a matcher, but you can help him make the most of his approach and be a little less churlish and doctrinaire in the process. That’s one of the secrets of living with people who are different from you. On the other hand, it’s useful for matchers to see differences, for they have a tendency to generalize. It might be useful for a matcher to notice all the differences between this week and last week, or between the cities they visit (instead of saying Los Angeles is very much like New York). Focus a little on the differences, too – they are part of the spice of life.

Can a matcher and a mis-matcher live happily together? Sure – just as long as they understand each other. That way, when differences occur they will just realize the other person isn’t bad or wrong, he/she just perceives things in a different way. You don’t have to be totally alike to establish rapport. You do need to remember the differences in the ways you both perceive things and learn how to respect and appreciate each other.

The next involves what it takes to convince someone of something. The convincer strategy has two parts. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often he has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced. To discover someone’s convincer ask, how do you know when someone else is good at a job? Do you have to (a) see them or watch them do it, (b) hear about how good they are, (c) do it with them, or (d) read about their ability? The answer may be a combination of these. You may believe someone’s good when you see him do a good job and when other people tell he’s good.