Repressed frustration at the workplace

You can’t be at your best behavior at work all the time and every once in a while you may lose your cool. But this can cause more damage than you think. Here are some ingenious ways to manage your anger.

While repressed frustration at the workplace does not lead you anywhere, spitting venom out on your colleagues also does not do you any good. There are many things that make one angry at work whether it is bosses who are on power trips or colleagues who are simply annoying. However, your reaction to such situations is important. If your first inclination is to scream and yell or to throw the nearest paper weight, you need to get a grip over emotions.

Admitting the fact that your anger is out-of-control is essential to tackling the problem.

Studies show that uncontrolled anger has long term emotional and physical effects on our body.

Physical effects: Anger causes injury, increased adrenalin surges, high blood pressure and increased heart rate possibly producing stroke, and heart attacks.

Emotional effects: Anger creates intense guilt, feelings of failure, depression, constant agitation, violent rage, and possibly suicide.

It is important for you to know what has triggered you to become angry. Ask your friends at work for feedback and to give you a sign when you look like you are going to explode. Corroborating a software programmer says, “when ever I get upset over an uncontrollable situation at work, I count one to twenty backwards”. This takes his mind away from the issue because he is busy focusing on the numbers and it gives enough time to cool off. After this he is able to view the cause of his anger from a different perspective.

Anger is a very strong emotion. Although it is not easy to overcome anger; it requires determined commitment, courage, and tremendous inner strength. It also requires help from others. To overcome anger, these steps are important:

Try to be calm: In order to change your focus of anger from an individual to the larger issue, it is helpful if you can quickly jot down the points that you have in mind about the issue.

Be assertive, not aggressive: Every time you feel like blaming someone or yelling at someone, say the words in your mind. This will automatically let off some steam and you will be actually able to assess how harsh it actually sounds. Perhaps then you will try to make it milder. If you are positive in your communication, the issues will be sorted faster than you can imagine. The more you resort to verbal abuse and ego bashing, the more complicated things become.

Empathize: Whenever you are angry at a particular person’s behavior or the lack of results, always empathize and analyze the situation from his/her position. Sometimes, thinking from that individual’s perspective helps you see reason and automatically calms your mind.

Expectation management: Very often we get angry when we don’t get what we want. In such cases, if we try and reset the expectations and bring it down to realistic levels, it can help in a big way.

One should always look for the positives and not dwell on the negatives. The act of forgiving will not only help you get over the issue, but will also make you feel lighter because you will not have to carry around the weight of pent up emotions. Learn to forgive.

It is impossible that you will never get angry. But if you remember that how you act when you are angry will worsen or improve the situation, then you will not lose your control. Remember, without anger to distort your mind your thoughts will be clearer and you can see a better, more mature way to handle whatever makes you angry.

First of all, you need to differentiate between repressed, pent up anger and what is known as fresh anger. Each of this is very distinct and need to be dealt differently.

Everybody knows that anger is disruptive to one’s social and professional life, and therefore many people try to keep it inside; and try to keep their cool. Anger that is kept inside you is killing you slowly from inside out.

  • Rashmi Bhandari

    very useful. thanks