CVs and Business meetings

Getting a job these days is highly difficult. And if your CV comes with these howlers, then you chances of getting a job are almost negligible. Read in and laugh out loud:

1) I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability
2) Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act and do not come cheap.
3) I intentionally omitted my salary history. I’ve mode money and lost money. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. I prefer begin rich.
4) Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job hopping’. I have never quit a job.
5) Number of dependents: 40
6) Marital status: Often, Children: various
7) Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

Reasons for leaving the last job:

1) Responsibility makes me nervous.
2) They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.
3) Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.
4) I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
5) The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers.

Job responsibilities

1) Please call me after 5:30 am because I am self employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.
2) My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
3) I procrastinate – especially when the task is unpleasant

Physical disabilities:

1) Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep

Personal interests:

1) Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.

CV typos:

1) Education: College, august 1880 – May 1984
2) Work experience: Dealing with customer’s conflicts that rouse.

You write an appropriate CV and get the job and are entrusted with responsibilities. At this juncture you may have to meet your clients/ customers. There you may have to follow certain business etiquette and getting the business. Here are some brilliant ideas how to go about.

Business meetings can be harrowing, especially if you are meeting a potential business partner for the first time. It is always essential to get off to a positive start and create a comfort level at the outset. Here are some ‘ice breaker’ tips to help you chill:

Exchange business cards:

This is very basic thing to do, but what most people probably don’t practice is to devote a minute to studying the other person’s business card before you put it away.

As in any other business situation, preparation is key to having a successful meeting. Do some research on the person and the company he represents. Questions like “how successful have been the new innovations you have introduced in your product line up etc., enable the person to skip into a comfort zone.

We all like to hear good things about ourselves. Complimenting the opposite person on their suit or mentioning about the new developments in their company or department can be a really good ice breaker

Making a good first impression is all about creating a strong individual persona. Humor can go a long way in establishing your ‘brand’. Use a quote or a humorous anecdote that is appropriate for the tone of the meeting. It would also be wise to have a short and snappy speech about yourself ready.

You have to take the time to listen and get the opposite partly involved in the discussion. Pay attention to the responses and maintain eye contact. Once you have your research and your conversation starter topics in place, all your meetings should be ma breeze.