Getting angry, stress, anxiety are some of the problems we all come across in day to day life both personally and professionally. Many a times the personal things are also being carried at workplace and vice versa which cause even more anxiety.
People who have high levels of stress and conflict in their lives with a minimal amount of coping skills can have the most devastating effect on the work environment and their coworkers. Here are a few techniques that can help you deal with employees or co-workers whose conflict may escalate into anger.
Waiting allows anger to boil into a potentially explosive situation. When you do not act immediately, employees tend to believe you don’t really care. The only times when a delay is justified are if the individual needs time to simmer down before you come together to resolve the challenge, or when you believe that a professional’s assistance may be needed.
Respect the individual.
We all know when someone is shining us on or patronizing us. If you truly want to dissipate the anger, then show respect for the other persons opinion, feelings and where they are emotionally. Be patient and remain calm to help establish that level of respect.
Meet in private.
Allow the angry person to vent in private without interruption. This will allow the discussion that follows to be more productive and result oriented. If the individual does make threatening or violent statements, do cut in.
People behave with anger because it works. Either they get a defensive and angry response from you or you become so intimidated that you back off. Either helps the person to avoid a resolution to the situation causing the problem.
So be silent until the individual has expressed all of their feelings. When you do not respond or rebut their comments immediately and appear to be contemplating their comments, they usually run out of steam and stop their verbal tirade sooner
Remember you can’t control others.
Although your colleagues may be the primary source for your frustration and anxiety, there’s probably nothing you can do about it. In a perfect world you could sit down, have a talk with them over a cup of coffee and all issues would be resolved. But since this isn’t a perfect world, you might just have to learn to live with it. Keep in mind that their actions aren’t personal; it’s probably just their nature.
People want to know their opinion and feelings count. If you constantly interrupt the individual or discount the information the person relays to you, they will only become more angry.
Repeat their complaint and feelings in your words. A statement like “I hear you’re feeling frustrated because the other person ignored your suggestion,” indicates you really have heard their complaint and have helped identify their feelings
Think Positive about Yourself
Avoid using definitive words like “never” and always.” For instance seething to yourself about how your cell phone never works, or how your boss always puts you down only help you reinforce your own flawed thinking. Stop using those words, and you’ll see that your cell phone does work most of the time and that your boss, even if he is a pain at times isn’t always out to get you. The point here is not to establish these types of words on firm ground so they become a part of your thinking.
Begin with your thought processes.
The one thing that all angry people have in common is the feeling of entitlement that things must always go their way. They find it difficult to deal with a situation when it doesn’t go their way and hence the anger. If someone at home makes you angry by not listening to you or not doing what you tell them to do, try to imagine yourself as a king. You’re walking around the house while every body else is bowing to you and scraping at your feet. Once you have this picture in your mind, it will be easier for you to realize how unreasonable it can be to expect things to go your own way all the time, or for other persons to bend to your will every single time.
Look for a solution in all situations. Solutions capitalize on team work. When everyone is working toward one goal, one solution, there is little time for blame.
Solutions also encourage people to be creative, to think out of the box. People tend to be more creative when they know they will not be criticized or blamed for making mistakes.
There is no one clear way to prevent and defuse anger in the work place. Each situation and individual is different. It is important that you know your own limits and when it is necessary to take a grab of the situation to handle it in a more professional manner. Although conflict management theories are always helpful if put into practice properly.