Adjustment of attitude


Attitude is a judgment we make about people based on what we see them say or do. We often forget to focus on the source that makes them behave in a particular manner.

It has been said that there are three ways to make a fundamental change in another person’s attitude-intensive psychotherapy, religious conversion or if all else fails, brain surgery! The trick to dealing with others people’s attitude problem lies in pinpointing specific behaviors of the individual that send your blood pressure rocketing!

It all boils down to our tolerance and open-mindedness. Even so, wouldn’t it be great if everyone around us would get rid of those attitudinal deficiencies?

You argue that it is not simply what the individual said or did . It concerns the way he / she said it which includes their tone of voice, facial expression and demeanor. We can then safely conclude that the individual has a deep-seated attitudinal deficiency. So what can you do about it? Since our attitudes are fairly set by the time we are three , you need to live with ‘who’ the person is but try affect change into ‘what’ it is he / she does that reflects negatively on their attitudes and provokes you! So if you have decided to embark on saving your colleague’s attitudinal soul
(and consequently keep your rage in check). Some hints at tackling Attitude problems:

1. When confronting those in need of an attitude adjustment, a major faux pas is using the word “attitude�. Those with genuinely loathsome attitudes have probably had the fact pointed out to them before! Raising the ‘attitude’ issue one more time is going to turn out totally unproductive. Instead try out the “ I have a problem and need your help� approach. Avoid words like “You� that finger-point. Discuss exactly what you have been and heard and why they concern you. Then ask for the person’s help in solving the problem.

2. Be prepared for denial, even the accusation of being paranoid! Remember he / she took a bit getting to you. It is safe to say that it is going to take you a bit getting to them! In such a scenario, wrap up your discussion swiftly by saying,“ That great I’m glad you feel there is nothing to it. Lets get back together later and ensure the problem is solved!�

3. A week later, have a re-talk . Once again, come across as cheerful, upbeat and non-accusing. Point out more examples of those behaviors that concern you, and ask for help in solving the problem. Be prepared for further denial and again, wrap up the meeting on a positive note!

4. In between these meetings, look out for any windows of opportunities to reinforce movement in the desired direction. Ensure the individual is aware that he / she gets a payoff for doing things your way!

5. If you need third session , start getting a bit more serious. Point out that getting along with others and maintaining friendly relationship are as much a part of the job as the job itself. If that is not in their job description, ensure they rewrite it.

There is no guarantee that you could affect the kind of change you seek. You may end up having to live with it or amicably agree-to-agree and parts ways. Even so, if you invariably demonstrate the attitude you would like to see in others, the odds go up in your favor of having the same attitude returned to you!