Once you have come up with these alternatives, see if they feel congruent that is, make sure all of you is willing to support your using these new choices in the future. If you feel congruent, these choices will produce behaviors that now support you in getting what you want, and you don’t have to overeat to get it. The step into the future and in your mind experience using these new choices effectively, noting the result you now produce. Thank you unconscious mind for these new choices, and enjoy your new behavior. You may even want to do a swish pattern, replacing the behavior you used to produce to the new behavior you desire, once you discover what would support your unconscious needs better than the old unwanted behavior did. You have given yourself new choices.
Almost any seemingly negative experience can be reframed into a positive. How often have you said, “some day I’ll probably look back and laugh at this”. Why not look back and laugh at it now? It’s all a matter of perspective.
It’s important to note that you can reprogram someone’s representation through swish patterns and other techniques, but if the person gets greater benefits from the old behavior than from the new choices he has developed, he will probably return to the old behavior. For example if I work with a woman with an unexplainable numb foot and find out what she does in her head and physiology top create it, and she then learns to signal her body in a way that no longer creates numbness, her problem is now cleared up. But it may return when she goes home if she no longer gets the great secondary benefits she had when her foot was numb such as her husband’s doing the dishes, paying attention to her, massaging her feet, and so on. For the first couple of weeks or months, he sees that she no longer has the problem. However, after a while, since she no longer has the problem, he not only expects her to start doing the dishes, but he doesn’t massage her feet and he seems to pay even less attention to her. Soon her problem flares back up mysteriously. She doesn’t do this consciously. To her unconscious mind, the old behavior works much better in giving her what she wants and her foot is numb again.
In such case, she must find other behaviors that will give her the same quality of experience with her husband more from the new behavior than she did from the past behavior. A woman who had been blind for eight years seemed unusually adept and centered. Later it was discovered that she was not blind at all. Yet she lived her life as if she were. Why? She’d had an accident earlier in her life and developed poor eyesight. As she did, people around her gave her a tremendous amount of love and support, more than she had ever experienced before in her life. In addition she began to discover than even doing average everyday things brought her great recognition when people thought she was blind. They treated her as special so she maintained this behavior, even convincing herself of her blindness at times. She had not found a more powerful way to get people to automatically respond to her in a thoughtful and loving way. Even strangers would treat her as special. The behavior would change only if she developed something bigger to move away from or something that gave her more benefits than her present behavior offered.
So far we’ve been concentrating on the ways in which we can reframe negative perceptions into positive ones. Don’t think of reframing as a therapy as a way of going from situation you consider bad to ones you consider good. Reframing is really nothing more or less than a metaphor for potential ad possibility. There are very few things in your life that can’t be reframed into something better.
One of the most important frames to consider is possibilities. We often fall into ruts. We might be getting comfortable results, but we could be getting spectacular results. So, please do this exercise. Make a list of five things you’re doing right now that you’re pretty pleased with. They could be relationships that are going well, something at work, may be something having to do with your children or your finances.