Awareness is a powerful tool. Most of us think our map of the world is the way it is. We think, I know what makes me feel loved. That must be what works for everyone else. We forget that the map is not the territory. It’s only how we see the territory.
Now that you know how to elicit a love strategy, sit down with your partner and find out what makes him or her feel totally loved. And having elicited your own love strategy, teach your partner how to trigger your feeling totally loved. The changes this understanding can make in the quality of your relationship are worth your investment many times over.
People have strategies for everything. If someone gets up in the morning totally awake and alive, he has a strategy to do just that, though he probably doesn’t know what it is. But if you ask him, he will be able to tell you what he says or feels or sees that gets him going. Remember, the way to elicit a strategy is to put the cook in the kitchen. That is, get him to go into state you want, then, while he is there, find out what he did to create and maintain the state. You might ask a person who wakes up easily in the morning to remember a specific morning when he woke up quickly and easily. Ask him to recall the very first thing he became conscious of. He may say he heard an internal voice that said, it is time to get up; let us go. Then ask to remember the very next thing that caused him to wake up quickly. Did he picture something or feel some thing? He may say, ‘I pictured myself jumping out of bed and getting in the warm shower, I shook my body, and then I got out’. Seems like a simple strategy. Next you want to find out the specific kinds and amounts of ingredients, so you would ask, what was the voice like that said it is time to get out of bed? What was it about the quality of the voice that got you up? He will probably answer, ‘The voice was loud, and it was talking very fast’. Now ask, ‘What the scene like that you pictured?’ He may answer ‘It was bright and moving fast’. Now you can try this strategy for yourself. I think you will discover that by speeding up your words and pictures, increasing volume and brightness, you can wake up in an instant.
Conversely, if you are having a hard time going to sleep, just slow down your own internal dialogue and create yawning, sleepy tones, and you will feel yourself become very tired almost immediately. Try it right now. Talk very slowly like a very tired person in a yawning voice inside your head. Talk … about… how T-I-R-E-D – yawn – you are. Now speed it up. Feel the difference. The point is, you can model any strategy, as long as you put someone in state and find out specifically what he does, in what order and sequence. The key is not to merely learn a few strategies and then use them. The most important thing is to constantly stay attuned to what people do well, and then to find out how they do it, what their strategies are. That’s what modeling is all about.
NLP is like the nuclear physics of the mind. Physics deal with the structure of reality, the nature of the world. NLP does the same thing for your mind. It allows you to break things down the components parts that make them work. People have spent a life time trying to find a way to feel totally loved. They’ve spent fortunes trying to get to “know themselves’ with analysts and read dozens of books on how to succeed. NLP gives us the technology to accomplish these and many other goals elegantly, efficiently and effectively now.
As we are already seen, one way to get in a resourceful state is through syntax and internal representation. Another way is through physiology.